It is Easter weekend and I’ve been having such a lovely and interesting time working out what that means to me. My life these days does not include much organised religion (disorganised however sounds so much more lovely, and I envisage it including much more wine and cake?) however I feel its a shame to miss out on all the celebrations. People who know me well will know I have such a fondness for rituals and tradition. Growing up in and around churches meant that lots of different traditions were woven in my day to do life, and as an adult I found I needed to work out how to integrate my own rituals into my life. Some of these traditions are silly, like believing that on sunday you can eat whatever treats you want without any ramifications (a lot of chocolate gets eaten before breakfast, and I have been known to drink a whole bowl of coffee.) While others involve special places I go with my friends once a fortnight for breakfast and a shopping trips. A lot of my traditions revolve around ethical purchasing of food, such as going specifically to an artisan bakery for bread, supporting local farmers by buying my vegetables at local organic stores, or buying wine from my favourite cellar. These tiny things bring beauty and significance to daily life and I love the routine of visiting all these different places to buy treats.
This year I wanted to celebrate Easter with the people I care about without having to buy a heap of mass produced chocolate. So this is what I did. Firstly, I made my own hot cross buns, which is something I do every year. I left them in my house for the whole household to eat. Next instead of giving chocolate I made jam and gave it to friends as gifts. It was so nice to have a token of celebration without needing much more than strawberries, sugar, jars and a bit of time. And lastly of course, there were feasts. Over the weekend I got together with different friends at different points and just enjoyed each others company, some good food and a decent amount of good wine.
After all these celebrations I was left feeling so full and blessed. What are your Easter traditions? Hope they are lovely and filling your heart up to the very tops.
Winter is starting to creep in, and its filling me with so much joy. On my days off my housemate and I are going for bike rides through the cold crisp air to visit local cafes, and at night warming dinners are being cooked to accompany rich red wines. I always think everything feels just a little bit more special in winter. To me winter feels like everyday is sunday, it just has this glorious sleepy feeling to it where you could stay in bed reading all day or potter around the house for hours while drinking tea.
This week I’ve decided to embark on a few new projects. Im going to made some ginger beer and apple cider. I’ll keep you posted with how they both go. I’ve also been considering a woodwork project, to make a apple crate for my bike. I’ve never really done wood work, so I pre-emptively feel a little sorry for whoever serves me at the hardware. I’m really going to bombard them with questions.
My little vegetable patch is coming along nicely. Im really enjoying learning all about growing food, and watching how the seasons take effect on the different plants. I bought a whole heap of ornamental kales to plant in my front garden from a new nursery that opened up not far from my house. Just as a side note, I would like to add that the nursery was stocked with not only glorious plants but also the pretties lovelies boys to help serve. I felt so very grateful for the wealth of knowledge my father has been pouring out to me about growing plants, so that I could go in and not look silly.
I best be off, I have all my projects to start on, a pot of tea waiting for me and some very good books to read.
At work this week a lady asked me about my love life and who I was dating. I told her I was enjoying being single at the moment and was just happy to have some time to myself. She looked at me skeptically and asked “Is that really true? I mean does anyway actually WANT to be single? Isn’t that just what you say when you haven’t met the right person?”
This conversations made me so very sad, and not because Im single, but because of the culture we live in. Since when have we stopped being enough? Since when do I need one other person to validate my existence? And really, if you think about it, just one person liking you doesn’t say that much. Anyone no matter how awful they are can find at least one person who will stick out their lives with them. Its not a new concept.
Being alone is not a default. It is not an in between stage. It is how I plan to be for the rest of my life, even if I get married and have children, I still plan to be my own individual person, who cares about the things I care about and does the things I want to do. I don’t want to be completed or changed.
This has nothing to do with waiting. Why should I wait for someone? What am I going to do when they get here? I’ll tell you what I’ll do, the exact same thing I do now, except with less time.
So these are my thoughts, on being enough for myself, in a relationship, single, or whatever. Its not a faze, its how I fucking live my life.